Well, after all this time I've decided to make up my profile page.

Hm. Well, more then likely you're here because;

1) I left a nasty comment on your submission.

2) You read the nasty comment I left on someone's submission.

If you're here for any other reason, well I hope you find what you're looking for.

Some of my older reviews are kind of ridiculous, I admit. Not to mention the whole Halloween contest escapade were I received replies and hate mail from no less then 5 flash artists! This has all been cleared up nicely and suddenly I have a new found respect for artists.

I'm not here to find/make friends, but if you message me you will find I am chummy enough.

I have created this account to critique flash's that I absolutely hate or love. Sometimes I will critique one's in the middle, but usually those are only one's that I think will appreciate the review.

I don't like (Incoming French) blowing smoke up people's asses. If your flash is receiving 10 out of 10's and 5's and is ranked number 1 with a perfect 5 rating that doesn't mean I am going to join the Mob and scream out my praises. In fact I will be more inclined to be even more critical. You are not a god. You may see yourself as Caesar, but I will be the Garland Holder standing behind you. There's ALWAYS room for improvement and NO flash is perfect. I've yet to see something universally liked by everyone.

My critique will attempt to be as fair and unbiased as possible. Sometimes though I will slip, and more often then not I will acknowledge that. If you disagree with something I write, I will be more then happy to message you for the reasons why I said this and that. If you just leave a scathing remark to my scathing review I will message you anyways, whether you take the initiative or not, and explain myself. I am very mature about this. Hopefully you will be too.

I will review on the basis of 3 main things;

1) Animation
2) Sound
3) Plot/Point

Now, animation is simple. The better the animating, the better the score. HOWEVER, animating is not necessary how 'professional' the flash looks. Animating is the mood. If the focus of your flash is not animation, then I will overlook a poorly drawn flash (I'm looking at you Eric Sullivan...) in lue of the setting. You want a good score from me? If the focus of the flash is animation, do it well. If the focus of the flash is not animation, then at least take some efforts to make something recognizable. Yeah, when a Red Triangle tells a blue triangle to piss off, it's funny. Unless of course, that blue triangle is actually a black dot. Of course, if that's the punchline and it's well done I will overlook that fact.
My point is that animation is not THAT big a concern to me, unless it is central to the point of the flash.

Sound is also simple. Unfortunately most people work with limited resources so voice acting is not exactly of the highest caliber here on Newgrounds. So I am not THAT harsh with voice acting, unless of course the voices are so annoying or horrendous that it actually hurts me physically to listen to them. Then you're getting told that. One big issue I have with sound is that sound is either over used in some flash or under used. A man walking around does not necessarily need to be vocalized, unless it is a part of the flash point. Conversely if said man encounters a monster and punches it I want to hear that punch. I'm very iffy about sound, and I will try to review fairly. However remember I am just an individual. I have my own preferences. If you like doing something a certain way, just keep doing it. I give kudos to authors who are in it for themselves, so to speak.

And finally, the hardest thing I critique on. The plot or point of the flash. I realize a lot of flash out there is 'artsy' and does not necessarily have a plot. That's fine, as long as the other parts of the flash convey the art. If I see a man running down the street, pull out a lightsaber, and cut his own head off for no good reason I am more then likely going to critique heavily. Unless of course, that is the POINT of the flash. If a flash has no plot I do not automatically start 'Blamming'. If a flash has no plot and no point, expect very low scores. And if your flash does have a plot, please convey it. If your flash is a continuation or sequel to a previous one, mention it some where. I approach a review like I've never seen anything from the author before or heard of the flash before. And please, please, please. I know you're all far from professionals (Although there are a few out there) and that an original, cohesive story is hard to create, but please people. Go look up the term Deus Ex Machina. Unfathomable conveyances are just a buzz kill. If your characters are backed into a corner by Zombies and suddenly one of them realizes they had a .12 Gauge the whole time it's going to potentially ruin the flash for me. Unless of course, that is the point of the flash.

As it is painfully obvious, it is hard to critique a flash. So many things need to be taken into consideration. However I will do my damnedest to tear apart your flash. Nothing personal, but if it's good to me, then I will make it known. If it's bad, oh boy will you know.

So in closing, please don't take anything as a personal attack. I am a nice guy, and I am mature about reviewing and the eventual flak that will come from it. I hope you all will be as well.

God Bless.